Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Infertility: Our Unwelcomed Guest

On average, couples have sex 104 times before getting pregnant. Obviously, some get pregnant quicker, but sometimes it takes longer. For the people who had to keep trying and trying, getting pregnant is stressful and heartbreaking. This post on infertility is meant to address the feelings of heartbreak that come month after month of trying and not getting pregnant. If you've struggled with getting pregnant too, I hope this post helps you feel less alone in your pain. For others, I hope this post helps foster a better understanding of the emotional turmoil that infertility brings and a little more insight into why someone struggling to get pregnant might lose it. I present to you haiku I wrote while my husband and I struggled with infertility due to endometriosis. I’ve titled my set of poems Infertility: Our Unwelcomed Guest. I’ll warn you now that, depending on our relationship, some of this will seem like way more information than you ever wanted to know about me.

Dull aching, now throbs
The courtesy call she sends
Warning me of loss

Hot diarrhea
And I know she’s coming soon
To empty my soul

I clench the toilet
Waiting out the contractions
Preparing to wipe

Look between my legs
My heart drops though my stomach
Her fangs have sunk deep

Her name writ in blood
I examine the contract
Written on tissue

I prepare for her visit
Destructive, cruel

She thrashes about
Tearing, screaming in her room
While I wait outside

I abide her stay
With resentful silent tears
Mourning with Malbec

Mark the calendar
Crimson stained dates, warning us
Of her next visit

I would love to read your own haiku about your feelings about getting pregnant in the comments.

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