Hello! I’m Terrified of Sharks.

Given that this is my first blog post and it’s the start of Shark Week (!), I thought I’d blog about my insane fear of sharks to let you get a glimpse of the real Brandi.

I have no cause to fear sharks. I grew up landlocked in a tiny shtetl in Ohio (Baltimore, Ohio to be precise). I have had no real experience with sharks outside of banal aquarium visits. Well, I take that back. Once in 2012, I got into the Pacific and saw a small tiger shark swimming around my ankles, at which point I ran squealing to my blanket. My fear, however, was well established prior to this incident. Thus, the only logical cause for my fear of sharks is Shark Week because I watch so much Shark Week programming when it’s on that I have nightmares. Despite my fear, I have to keep coming back every year for more shark week. It’s become sort of like my Hanukkah (It’s about a week long. The date changes every year), even though I’m Catholic. My sister and I even celebrate it. She got my son a “Baby’s First Shark Week” onesie. I’ve provided picture proof…

 

Frankie's present from Aunt Lauren for his first Shark Week.

Anyway, the whole point of this post was to tell you about the pinnacle of my cray cray behavior that happened on a weekend beach trip with my sister and husband in 2009. I brought an 18-inch flathead screwdriver to Rehoboth Beach, tucked it into my bathing suit bottom, and continued with my day at the beach as usual. Why did I do this? Well, I wasn’t going to get into the shark infested water unarmed, and I’d look like a hostile insane woman (instead of just an insane woman) if I brought a knife or a firearm, so clearly, my best option was the 18-inch flathead screwdriver—non-threatening yet an effective weapon to use in a shark attack as far as I could see. I’m not denying that this was crazy. I was probably not going to get attacked by a shark, but recall, I’m terrified of them. It’s the only way I would go in the water.  

So, where has my fear of sharks taken me? Michigan. Now, I’m completely surrounded by freshwater and can easily visit the four shark-free lakes that border my new state while I’m not teaching and researching at Alma College. What’s the point of this story? To show you that I’m relatable and convince you to keep reading my posts. Did it work? Huh? Did it?