I'm finally done ranting (for now) about things people said to me while I was pregnant that I found rude. Herein, you'll find the seven on the Stupica Obnoxiousness Scale (SOS) that you were all losing sleep over.
10. Are you going to give birth naturally?
Might I proffer a rule on this issue? If you aren’t close enough to the person to ask about whether their bowel movement that day was natural or coaxed, don’t ask this question. If she wants you to know her birth plan and story, she’ll tell you. Generally, however, I found this question not all that rude if it stopped there, but it rarely does, people. Being pregnant is basically like wearing a sign that says, “Judge me! Criticize me! Make me feel bad about myself and my decisions!”
Many times this question was asked with a sneer or the person acted like a tool when I said I was planning on having a natural home birth. Just like my annoyance with the rude responses I received about baby’s future name, I don’t understand why people would ask the question and then respond with anything but kind, positive words and behavior. Given that a planned home birth is uncommon, I wouldn’t have been annoyed by the question if people followed-up with genuine interested responses and questions, which I sometimes received. Usually, however, people asked me how far away the hospital was, again, like I was an idiot about to give birth and didn’t care about her or her baby’s well-being. I’m rating it a five on the SOS.
11. You’re not planning on giving birth here, are you?
|Me: "Not Pregnant"|
Let me set the scene. I’d just entered my ninth month of pregnancy and I’d decided to have an outing to support my Alma Scots on the road. The Basketball-Arena-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named was designed so that all of the seats are down some rather steep stairs. I’d been seated a few rows from the court. Thus, in order to make my hourly trek to pee, I had to heave the walrus up the entire flight of stairs and then carefully descend back to my seat that I’d made into a pregnancy nest (complete with a down pillow to sit on and enough snacks to feed a family of four). After watching two games and a recognition ceremony, I decided it was time for a Snickers bar (I’d run out of snacks) and a potty break. The walrus was on the move. Half way up, an elderly woman, whom I have never met, shouted from five seats and two rows away, “You’re not planning on giving birth here, are you?”
I stopped, looked her in the eye, and said in complete seriousness, “I’m not pregnant.” Then, I went about my business and smugly declared myself the winner of the entire battle of people being rude to pregnant me. To see just how pregnant I really was on the day in question, check out the photo of me. This was the seven on the SOS you were all waiting for.